Last night we held our annual department pizza party - this time in a tent on campus, rather than at the pizza joint. It was the first time I had been on campus since December (while campus was closed for winter break), and the first time I had been in a social situation with many other people since . . . March of 2020? The expression 'shot out of a cannon' describes it to a tee. I could feel how rusty I was at receiving multiple pieces/types of information at once - listening to who I was talking to, pulling others into conversation, being attuned to so many people's body language - all things I used to regularly juggle in a classroom. I came home absolutely wiped out. Fall is going to be so taxing! I don't think I'd realized how much until last night.
Sarah, this is wonderful. The notion of loneliness as an emergency particularly resonated with me. It reminds me of a conversation I had with my mentor who is a psychiatrist and an Indigenous healer in Senegal. I was asking him about my anxiety and how I can “treat it.” He asked me a series of questions then helped me understand that anxiety is not a bad thing—it’s my brain trying to protect me. It was so helpful then as it is today to view my anxiety and trauma in context and through a relational—versus a pathological—lens. So, these days when my anxiety escalate, I try not to run away or fight it. It’s hard. It’s scary. I put on my lab bench scientist hat and investigate what it is that my brain is perceiving as danger or harm. Usually, this helps me have a moment of self empathy and usually, but not always, that compassion helps calm my nervous system down. This work takes a lot of support which I am grateful to have but I worry that most of my students don’t always have.
Last night we held our annual department pizza party - this time in a tent on campus, rather than at the pizza joint. It was the first time I had been on campus since December (while campus was closed for winter break), and the first time I had been in a social situation with many other people since . . . March of 2020? The expression 'shot out of a cannon' describes it to a tee. I could feel how rusty I was at receiving multiple pieces/types of information at once - listening to who I was talking to, pulling others into conversation, being attuned to so many people's body language - all things I used to regularly juggle in a classroom. I came home absolutely wiped out. Fall is going to be so taxing! I don't think I'd realized how much until last night.
Sarah, this is wonderful. The notion of loneliness as an emergency particularly resonated with me. It reminds me of a conversation I had with my mentor who is a psychiatrist and an Indigenous healer in Senegal. I was asking him about my anxiety and how I can “treat it.” He asked me a series of questions then helped me understand that anxiety is not a bad thing—it’s my brain trying to protect me. It was so helpful then as it is today to view my anxiety and trauma in context and through a relational—versus a pathological—lens. So, these days when my anxiety escalate, I try not to run away or fight it. It’s hard. It’s scary. I put on my lab bench scientist hat and investigate what it is that my brain is perceiving as danger or harm. Usually, this helps me have a moment of self empathy and usually, but not always, that compassion helps calm my nervous system down. This work takes a lot of support which I am grateful to have but I worry that most of my students don’t always have.